Be naked.

I know. I know. ANOTHER naked picture of me. Jesus. This girl likes her nudey pics.

These pictures symbolize authenticity.

N A K E D N E S S.

Because it wasn’t until recently that I learned that I should cherish the ability to be transparent. I have been schooled in imagery and fakeness. But I am almost 30 and I don’t want to be anything less than me anymore. And I personally like to be naked. Ask my roommate. But I also have to challenge myself every day to be honest with myself and to be naked with those around me.

A U T H E N T I C I T Y:

the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.

That’s a struggle for me. I want you to be happy. And to be happy with me. And so a lot of the time, I leave out parts of my story so that I can hide the not so pretty parts of me. And I am tired of worrying about you. And I am no longer interested in hiding.

This year has been hard. I am going through a divorce. I am alone for the first time in my life. I have fallen in love and gotten my heart broken. I have experienced the emptiness of loveless sex. And I have been battling depression and the sense of lost worth.

But on the flip side, all of these things have taught me how to be complete in my own skin, to be at peace with going home to an empty house and an empty bed.

To practice grace when I am angry and hurt, to let go of a future that was promised to me, to let go of a man that I loved deeply, and to let go peacefully.

I found my self worth by saying that I am worth more than what you are able to give me. That I am worth more than sex and random text messages. I learned to make boundaries. And I am learning that respect is better than attention. And that it takes a strong man to ask me on a date, but a coward to have a relationship via text.

I have lost a career path and gained an amazing lifestyle. I am at a point in my life where I can sincerely say that I am content in that area 100%. I love photography and sitting at the coffee shop editting. I love the community I get to be a part of while making money making coffee. I love my church family and making music with the most supportive team of people. And I am content.

I also love my home. And my roommate. I love love love the environment that we are creating and I can honestly say that the space is home. I finally understand what it means to feel the impact of a decluttered home on my anxiety. To feel financial peace. To feel like I can come home and rest and to not spend every waking moment taking care of someone else’s needs. To have an environment that feeds my soul. I love it and it’s home.

I also have found that I have time to figure out me. As a mom. As a lover. As a friend. And I think that I am shaping up to be someone worth loving knowing that I am lovable already in who God made me to be right now. And I believe that is only because I am challenging myself to be real and to be continuously a better version of me. To live in that knowledge that I am human and I am still lovable as is. Right now.

So I challenge you to be yourself. Be naked. Live that way. Because it took me too long to do it. And I really like the life I am living because of it. And hiding. It robs you eventually. Of joy and peace and love. Being anything less than yourself isn’t a life worth living.

So that is me. Right now. I mean there is loads more. Trust me I deleted more than half of this rambled thought. But this. This is me. More thoughts, I’m sure, will ensue soon.

Till then. Be beautifully you.